Day One: Something you hate about yourself.

This isnt going to be easy to disclose...

I hate my body.  I hate my body type.  I hate my weight. I hate the way I look and am very insecure in just about everything I put on.  I hate that it has been a battle my entire life and not having the "body type" I want.  Its a constant struggle.  Its been a constant struggle my entire life.  I have never been the type of person who was ever "skinny".  Not even as a child.  My mother used to call me and my sister fat all the time, and we weren't even that big!  I feel like I have done everything to help get this issue under control.  Over the past years (my whole life) I have done NUMEROUS diets, counted calories, used diet pills, stuck to strictly to only eating what I consider "rabbit food", I have worked out 7 days a week- elliptical, weight lifting, and swimming.  Not even starving myself would help me loose weight.  The times that I have lost a few lbs I literally had NO social life (bc I had to cut everything out) and I worked my BUTT off literally just to gain it back quicker!  The times that I was at my "thinnest" it was unhealthy.  I had a bad life style, was under a lot of stress and dealing with depression.

Since I am adopted and do not know my genes, it makes this issue even more problematic and frustrating!  The one thing I do know about myself now and that directly affects rapid weight gain is my hypothyroidism.  This is something that is SO hard to keep under control and it determines my weight for me.

Since I have done just about everything, I am only left with discourage.  I feel like nothing I do will help me get to the body type/weight I want to be. This is something I hate about myself.   Especially because I do not just sit at home all day, stuffing my face with crap!